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So here comes an abbreviated story of my life and times. Can I fit it on one page? Yes....I'm not particularly interesting.
Hur hur. Well....first of all i was born....and then i was a kid.....to one side is a picture of me on my first day of school.
Believe it or not i was outgoing, intelligent and socially adept. I would even go so far to say I was the king of kindergarten....with
my trusty mates Benny and Nicko. Its always sad when you peak in life at age 5. Oh well. Moving on.....
So then i went
through primary school....scared of girl germs.....but suddenly thought they arent all that bad. Then I was in highschool.....and
something must have broken because i became a bit of a social misfit, but I still think at that point in time i was a fully
functional member of society, despite what my mumsy says.
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| Then I learnt how to fake skate photos |
THis photo is from my final year of highschool I think. Here we see me pretending i can skate....and at the same time
proving how easily skate photos can be faked. I think i still fell off though. Anyway.....during the last year of school an
dafter it had finished it was time for the famous shindigs. Drinking, fighting, roaming the streets like a bunch of yobs......it
was the best fun I've ever had. Especially the ones where someone freaked out and you had to chase them all over the place.....(Alias...ahem).
Perhaps it was Dooley's special coffee paste made of only coffee and a touch of sour milk that started my transformation.........
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| Don't ask..... |
What a freak eh? Hahaha. THese were the college years..... I made some good friends here bizarrely enough, seeing as
90% of people were either jocks or studying to be accounting analysts or something. Well...somewhere here i lost interest
in how i looked and learnt hermit tendencies from Conor. After that it was into a house with my 2 wicked brothers.....
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| Note the devious eyes and protruding nose |
THis photo is actually from the post-Hamish years. You can see I don't look so childish anymore. Living with both
my brothers had a number of effects. Firstly.....I became a messy bastard, thanks entirely to Hamish. You just get to a point
where you can't be arsed cleaning up someones mess so you join them on the dark side. Secondly, I began my illustrious career
as a shelf monkey....which allowed me to be as beastman-like as i wanted.....no customers you see? This had the added bonus
of making me largely nocturnal...thus my paler skin. Aiiiie...natural light!! And lastly, living with Hamish made me regress
to a mental age of about 5, although I think even some 5 year olds are more mature than I am.....
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With Hamish gone and some of my friends getting real jobs (as if you would) I moved in with Joel and became
a bit of a hermit...to the disgust of some people (hi mack hur hur). These were (are) THE BOLSHEVIK years....the final stage
of my transformation. I guess the angrying up effect of my songs took its toll.....with people seeming to think I am bitter
and twisted. honestly.....im a nice boy. Haha....I guess it doesnt matter how nasty your songs are though...people still laugh
and says its cute how my dimples show when i smile on stage.....curses....
| HAIRY, HAIRY INDEED... |
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| getting there but still civilized in my hat |
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