Testimonials page 2

ewan and i became good friends in year 9 while plotting our first murder.
we dedided that a big hunk of frozen meat would be the weapon of choice (idea from roald dahl) after we clubbed the victim to death we would cook eat and dispose of it. yeah so basically we ripped off our perfect murder from roald dahl, well we were only 15...there is more, we thought we would get rid of the body (its hard to prosecute someone without a body... or so Mrs Oxley kept telling us). so we decided we would disolve the body in acid and then throw the disintergrated remains into the ocean. (in hindsight probably not the most original murder but we got rid of the body and the murder weapon so we'd thought further ahead than most crims) i can't remember if we had decided on a victim, with our shared cynicism there was also shared apathy so someone would have had to have been really stupid to inspire us to actually act on our plans. i think we'd actually decided to kill someone we didn't actually know (thanks to yr 9 forensic class we learned that most people are killed by people they know...who says kids don't learn anything at school?) so a hermit who nobody knew was probably our victim of choice. (he would have had to have lived in a shack near a cliff near the ocean so we didn't have to transport the dissolved body remains that far. also it would have been convenient if all the materials for dissolving him could be found on site, so as to avoid being caught from having the purchase of flesheating acid traced back to us. (this last element cuts down the odds a little of us being able to kill you...but not by much) as you can probably see we developed a pretty sophisticated understanding of the requirements of the modern criminal.